Polly Hudson: We're a United Kingdom when it comes to this summer's hot topic
Of course Iâve been huffing and puffing and sweating and groaning just like you. Itâs unbearable, obviously. But this week it dawned on me â" this heatwave is brilliant.
Itâs the morale booster we all needed, unifying us as a nation.
Because letâs be honest: weâre British â" weâve been training for this our whole lives.Â Conversations about the weather have been going on around us constantly since the day we were born. Ditto moaning. And now we have the chance to flex the glorious muscles weâve been working on so long and hard, and moan about the weather.
Itâs like an Olympics we can all compete â" and excel â" in. This is our day in the sun. Literally.
Earlier this week, coming back from my corner shop, I bumped into a neighbour who has never been that friendly.
Obviously the way to deal with this was that one of us would speed up and the other slow down so we didnât have to walk along together. But it all went wrong, and instead we accidentally fell into perfect step with each other. Trapped. I saw the panic in his eyes... and watched it instantly disappear as soon as I said, âItâs just too hot, isnât it?â
There is no other conversation that would have had enough mileage to get us both home safely. We couldnât have located another patch of common ground if weâd searched for a thousand years. Moaning about the weather brought us together in a way nothing else ever could have.
This weather is the ultimate leveller. Cross-generational, no matter your sex or class. There has been no one Iâve begun a chat about the weather with since the heatwave started who hasnât immediately grabbed it and run, enthusiastically.
And this, despite, absolutely doubtlessly just havin g had the exact same conversation a few minutes before, and all day, and all week, for weeks. Just like I had. We bloody love it. We just cannot get enough.
As a country, weâre united in not liking something. Iâve never felt more patriotic.
Moaning about this weather is the World Cup for people who donât like football, Love Island for people who donât like TV shows that are blatantly brilliant â" a national pastime weâre universally passionate about, because it affects all of us.
The correct procedure is to start off by announcing itâs too hot â" the lack of originality of the statement is cancelled out by the undeniable truth of it â" and then you can add, âfor meâ if you like. In this kind of extreme heat Iâm not sure it works, but Iâll let it go, because itâs too hot to quibble.
Then you can insert either an amusing heat- related anecdote, or go right for the money shot and mention how hard it is to sleep. Bonus points for use of the word âoppressiveâ.
You finish by talking about how âtheyâ say itâs going to get even hotter/cool down next week, and then you both laugh about how âtheyâ have got it wrong before though. The end.
Of course every now and then you may come across someone who insists they absolutely love this weather.
Maybe theyâre just saying it to be controversial and get attention, or maybe they genuinely mean it. Weâll probably never really know.
Put it this way though â" the heat isnât the reason their pants are on fire.Source: Google News United Kingdom | Netizen 24 United Kingdom